I don’t know what it means to be a wrestling booker, someone who writes the storylines and lays out the matches for professional wrestling, but I’m going to give it a shot. Take this as a stretch in creative muscle-stretching.

Because Becky deserves better.

(Note: If you don’t know what I’m talking about, then that’s fine. You can skip this one. I like wrestling. It’s dumb and silly and fanstastic when it allows itself to be. Recently, there was the first women’s main even of WrestleMania, the biggest wrestling show of the year. Becky Lynch, the heavy crowd favorite to win, won. But…it could have been better.)

It’s the final 7 minutes of the match.

There’s a table in the ring, brought in earlier by Becky and knocked over by Ronda. Yes, that Ronda. Ronda Rousey, former queen of the UFC.

Charlotte sets it up to try and use it against the other two, but instead of positioning it in the corner where it refused to break in the real world, she stands it up like normally. She runs to other side, charges up a Spear, a MIGHTY Charlotte Spear, and goes running at the two.


Ronda and Becky grab Charlotte’s arms and flip her over into the table. Smash. Crash. The table actually breaks this time.

Charlotte rolls out. Beaten. Broken. The legacy has been shattered.

Now it’s just Becky and Ronda in the ring. Months of story, culminating in this moment. This face-off. This stare down. The crowd that’s endured 7 hours of show at this point starts to wake up, maybe a little.

They trash talk each other, a verbal machine gun assault, before they start to throw fists. Unfortunately for Becky, this is Ronda Rowdy Rousey Rowdy Ronda, and she’s soon outclassed. Punches upon punches rain over Beck as she’s pushed to the corner.

Finally, Ronda steps back to examine her prey. For a moment, Becky says nothing. Becky throws her arms out like and motions like she’s going to say something, then one swift uppercut to the gut, and Becky collapses. Ronda goes for the pin.


Ronda can’t believe it. She’s in shock. Angry. Furious, some might say. She starts throwing around the B-word again, because that’s the thing she enjoys doing the most. Becky sits up, laughing to herself. Ronda takes a few steps back, does her weird shoulder slap thing that makes her look 10x more tough and gives her +15 in Attack, and Becky stands. Her knees are buckling and she definitely felt those hits, but this isn’t the end. Defiantly, she throws out her arms once more, hearkening back to when The Man came around back in November, right before Survivor Series.

talking smack bring it on GIF by WWE

But before she can say what she said then, (I think it was, ‘This is my house,’ except all Irish-like), Ronda hoists her up over her shoulders for that swift Judo move she does, and slams Becky down.

Clearly, this is it.

Referee counts. 1-2-KICK OUT PLAYA.

Now, Ronda is livid. Brock Lesnar levels of livid. You know, when the camera has to cut away so they don’t lose sponsorship deals for the amount of swearing he does.

Ronda’s yelling at the referee, beyond angry, in some level of unknown. Slowly, behind Ronda, Becky stands, broken, shattered, but NEVER beaten. Ronda can’t believe. Maybe Becky’s nose is bleeding again, I don’t know. She throws out her arms, and with the cocky Irish bravado, spews, ‘This. Is. My. House. Now.”

Ronda rushes her, hoists her up again, screaming at the sky to give her the strength to bury the Lynch once and for all, and just as she’s throwing her to the ground, THEN Becky rolls her back over onto her shoulders, and gets the 1-2-3 pin.

So. Nothing TOO drastic from what actually happened. Charlotte still gets taken out by both other competitors, a sign they needed to work together to put the Woo-Woman away. Then, you get this sequence that makes Becky look like an unforgiving bada** who won’t stop, won’t quit, and even makes the baddest woman on the planet lose her cool. Enough for her to get a pin.

Bascially, it’s the final 5 minutes of the first DragonBall Z Broly movie, where Goku keeps getting smashed into the rock by Broly and keeps getting up.

So, yeah.

Thanks for reading,

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