First blog of the New Year on a new day! Wednesdays will be Fifth Draft blog time, chronicling my journey to become a published novelist. Sunday evenings are now the place for my upcoming WeekNotes. That’s right, the old, possibly-outdated-but-could-perhaps-be-making-a-comeback style of blogging is coming right here! To Fifth Draft! Live!

*audience erupts into mild applause and one sneeze

Gonna kick the New Year off right with….a Tweet?

 

 

So the Winter Break is at an end, the chaos of the holidays is over, and I got sick in Disneyland. Was it worth it?

Absolutely, I love Disney.

But now it’s time for the systems to kick back on, for the operations to continue, and for me to keep on working towards getting a book published. Any book. Seems like Project: GREY, a middle-grade science fiction adventure, is at the forefront, but that doesn’t mean I won’t be writing anything new. I got a few more ideas for books I want to chase down, but one thing at a time. Can’t make the mistake of being distracted by the shiny new thing.

To help elaborate what I’m feeling, here’s an entry from an old Morning Pages post I did back in May of 2018 which I think helps summarize it perfectly. That, and there’s some Disney in there too! It’s all connected! Look at my crazed cork board with push-pins and red string leading into Walt’s nostril!

Stoppage guilt.

As an artist, working on various projects is both a gift and lead leg weights. You feel empowered because in the planning stages you have the encouragement and motivation to keep working and explore a dozen different options.

Then, there’s a ball-dropping moment.

You don’t work on something.

You miss a day.

You break your Seinfeld Chain.

And suddenly, you put off working on it the next day because you felt bad about not working on it the previous day. So you keep putting it off.

More and more.

So, how do you get over that hump?

I suppose that this could turn into another entry about how everything inside you to become a creator is already there, so you shouldn’t let that guilt get to you. Get back to work!

But it does, in a real, hurtful way. An icy hand around your neck, freezing all of your functions. You feel guilt because you should be writing or drawing or painting or singing and you’re not.

And the clock is ticking.

The clock…

The clock that’s counting down to your future, that you have no control over. Staring down with its judgmental face and angry hands, ready to slap you and remind of the one thing you have no control over.

So, the guilt freezes your mind and your hand, swaying your thoughts and hurting you internally, pouring out externally. Your desk gathers dust. Your hand cramps up when you start to try and write. Your brow sweats and you only keep looking at the clock face.

Ticking.

Stoppage guilt is a real thing and not easy to overcome.

But, think of it as ice.

And, to borrow from one of the more recently popular Disney hits…

How do you stop ice…?

Born of cold and winter air

And mountain rain combining

This icy force both foul and fair

Has a frozen heart worth mining

Cut through the heart, cold and clear

Strike for love and strike for fear

See the beauty, sharp and sheer

Split the ice apart

And break the frozen heart

“Frozen.”

I’m inspired by “Frozen.”

Good lord…

Thanks for reading,

Follow me:

Twitter: @robacosta

Instagram: @robacosta

Tumblr: RobAcostaTumblr

Contact: robertmichaelacosta@gmail.com

Check out mine and Arnie Bermudez’s webcomic, The Juan!